Why The Best Decision Making is Emotional
In the previous lesson, you learned about the power of interoception. In this lesson, we'll be exploring why the best decision making is emotional.
In Jonny Miller's work as an executive coach, it’s common to hear entrepreneurs share something along the lines of, “My emotions get in the way of my ability to make good decisions.”
There’s a pervasive myth—particularly in the tech industry—that listening to our rational, logic-oriented left brain is superior to acting in response to fluctuating emotions.
Life might be simpler if this were the case. Emotions are messy, and in some circumstances they cloud our judgment. Even the neuroscientists studying them have struggled to understand how they work.
But it turns out that without our “irrational” emotions, we would be unable to make even basic day-to-day choices. Research in recent decades has shown that emotions are a crucial component of our decision-making process. And running a startup requires making constant choices.
In this lesson, we’ll explore where emotions arise in the body and how learning to map your emotions is the key to ensuring the decisions you make are aligned with what you really want.
Where do emotions arise in the body?
Recent neuroscience asserts that emotions are a combination of somatic sensation and situational context, but then where exactly do these sensations arise in the body?
In a 2013 study from a Finnish research lab, the researchers showed participants written stories, movies, and facial expressions designed to evoke certain feelings. Then they asked participants to draw “body maps” of where they felt those various emotions in their bodies. The warm colors represent where sensation increases when a person feels an emotion, and cool where sensation decreases.
Researchers worked with two different groups—West European and Taiwanese—and found that “consistent patterns of bodily sensations are associated with each of the six basic emotions.” (They’re shown in the top row in the image below, although it’s worth noting that these six basic emotions are still being debated.)
These maps help illustrate that our experience of emotions is a dynamic interplay between somatic sensations (body-based feelings) and their context—and there may be some statistical overlap in how those feelings present in the body across cultures.
The competitive advantage of ‘feeling the feels’
Research has shown that emotions are transmitted from the brain to the body and vice versa.
In Jonny's work as a somatic and breathwork practitioner and with Nervous System Mastery students, he has seen this flow get impeded by any number of psychological or physiological defenses, such that the experience remains in the realm of the mind.
This is critical, because if emotion is confined to a person’s brain alone, it will be compared to our historical reactions and not be tested by the reality of our physiological response.
In other words, our feelings get trapped.
In coaching we refer to this experience as “emotional looping,” where a client may be stuck in the story of what occurred. They resist dropping down below the neck and into the often uncomfortable sensations—perhaps a tightness in the chest or weight in the stomach—that allow the feelings to move and escape the cycle of resistance.
Jonny's entrepreneur clients who can escape story loops have an easier time making important decisions. They feel the emotional sensations in their bodies.
If we’re resisting (consciously or unconsciously) a certain emotional experience, then we’ll make intentional choices to avoid feeling that way. If, as a startup founder, you are uncomfortable with the sensations of anger or frustration, you’ll likely avoid confrontational situations, like giving necessary critical feedback or setting clear boundaries with others.
If you avoid sitting with the inevitable sensations of sadness, grief, anger, or guilt, then you may cling to employees that should have been let go weeks prior, or you may resist ending a project you care about that isn’t serving the company.
One of Jonny's mentors, Joe Hudson, goes a step further with what he calls the “Golden Algorithm.” It’s the idea that any problem you’re experiencing has a corresponding emotion you’re trying to avoid. By evading that feeling, you’re actually more likely to amplify it.
Let’s apply the Golden Algorithm to the previous example of the entrepreneur who tends to avoid confrontation. Because they’re afraid to deliver critical feedback, they’ll likely become resentful of their colleagues. After all, their frustration has to go somewhere, so it gets trapped internally and festers. Another example: If a founder is avoiding the grief of letting go of an employee, their business may suffer long-term consequences. They may have to eventually let go of many more people as a result of delaying the original layoff.
Can you recall a time in your life when avoiding the uncomfortable sensations of an emotion backfired or resulted in negative consequences?
Challenge #4 —Map your emotions
To gain more awareness of your emotions and how they’re shaping your decisions, Jonny recommends cultivating your perception of your interoceptive senses—the conscious and unconscious signals to your brain of what’s happening in your body. That will make it easier for you to identify the physical sensations associated with your emotional experience.
You can use this Google Doc Template to complete the exercise, or if you prefer use your own journal and follow the prompts below...
Step 1: Choose one to three emotions to explore, ideally some that you have historically resisted feeling or have judged in others.
Step 2: Reflect on any thought loops or beliefs that arise alongside this emotion. Does it crosswire with another feeling? For example, sometimes shame crosswires with anger, or fear crosswires with joy. Write about your relationship with this emotion and what useful information it may have to give you that you’ve been ignoring.
Step 3: Write down some physical sensations that arise when you feel this emotion in your body. (Refer to the body maps above if necessary) Describe as much sensory detail as you can. For example, is the sensation hot or cold? Sharp or dull? Expansive or contracting? Notice how the sensations shift as you bring your attention to them.